It wasn’t anger. I felt guilty… like I had taken advantage of my s****r. It was irrational I know, but I was confused. ‘Well little b*****r, I have to get to work,’ she said and got up. ‘You have a wonderful day.’ ‘Uh… yeah, sure.’ ‘Oh and by the way, don’t take the video back. I want to see the rest.’ ‘I bought it,’ I responded. It was an ‘as is’ final sale. I couldn’t take it back if I wanted… especially not without explaining what was really on the tape. She smiled and said, ‘Good, then we can watch it as much as we want.’ With that she was gone, leaving me as perplexed as I had been last night. I went to work in a mental fog. I rang up people’s grocery orders wrong, didn’t hear questions customers asked, and generally screwed up everything I touched. I even made a wrong turn on the expressway on the way home after nigh school and had to drive five miles out of my way. I finally resolved to not let it bother me. After all, Cindy was the one that initiated everything. Why not enjoy. I had been touching my vulva, stroking my pubic hair. I was aware of my clitoris previous to this, but this time it almost begged for my attention. As I nudged it with my thumb it swelled and sent shocks of electricity into my limbs. I shook with excitement as I felt a now familiar dampness seeping from my vagina. As I caressed the folds of my labia, I felt pleasure in warm waves. Finally, there was an urgency, a threshold of pleasure that had stopped me previously. At this point, safe and alone in my room, I began to cross that threshold. As I continued to stroke my clitoris, contractions began in my lower stomach and groin. They rapidly began to build up, until I feared that I might burst. I was afraid that I would wet myself due to the pressure building in my crotch. Finally, I abandoned myself to the pleasure, and my groin pulsed with exctacy. Later, as I lingered in my wetness, I realized that a bridge had been crossed-- a bridge into adult life.I shared my experience.
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